Birth is so many things.

Magical. Emotional. Incredible. Breathtaking. Joyful. Heartbreaking. Humbling. Overwhelming. Powerful. And always life-changing.

I have had the privilege of attending almost 300 births. Each one special and unique, every time leaving me in awe of how amazing women are.

As a VBAC mom, I am honored to walk this same path with so many women trying to achieve the same thing. Sometimes it is difficult for people to understand just how important this can be for us and how it is so much more than just how we give birth. For a VBAC, the preparation is different. More than just a birth plan or determining comfort measures, these women research providers, join support groups, take VBAC education classes, see chiropractors, do exercises to help with positions – you name it, they’ve done it. Without a doubt, they are a group of educated and prepared women.

I contemplated the title of this blogpost for weeks – The Failed Homebirth? The Plan? The Situation? A Doula’s Birth? WTF Just Happened? Sometimes no matter how hard you may try, things just don’t go as planned.

It has been so difficult to open up and talk about (or even grasp) what happened just nine weeks ago. I never know how to answer the question when people ask how the birth went. How much do I share? Should I tell the whole truth? Can I answer in a way that they won’t ask too many questions? Truthfully, I just want to answer in some way where I can avoid hearing, “Healthy mom, health baby, that’s all that matters in the end.”

Congratulations. A simple enough word expressing good wishes on a special occasion. Having a baby… CONGRATULATIONS! It comes so easily, right? You’re having your second baby… Congratulations.

You are expecting your third baby… your fourth baby… your fifth baby… Uh, um, yeah.

“I believe congratulations is the word you’re looking for.”